
Using contraception should be like driving a car —so automatic, you do
it without thought. But (uh oh) what if you’re messing up…and you don’t
even know it? You’re about six beers deep and finally—after several
overpriced dinners and cocktails—you’ve convinced a super hot chick that
you’re not the playboy/creeper/serial killer she initially pegged you
as.
Score! So as you head back to your place and things get heated, there’s no shot you’re killing the mood with a condom…right?
Bad idea. Terrible idea. In fact, that logic is so flawed,
we’re going to go ahead and counter it with the ultimate mood killer: In
the first year of a baby’s life—between doctor visits, clothing, food,
and everything else, a parent can expect to spend more than $10,000.
(Yeah. Let that sink in.)
So unless you’re ready to trade beer for baby formula? Read this—MF’s
expansive guide to making sure you don’t knock her up. Because even if
you play it safe most of the time, you’re probably screwing up in ways
you didn’t even know were possible.
1. The Mistake: You think having sex standing up prevents pregnancy.
The Potential Damage: We couldn’t believe that nearly 1
in 5 of men buy into this, but according to a 2010 study, it’s true.
Yikes. “The law of gravity is not a contraceptive,” says Debby
Herbenick, PhD, the co-director of The Center for Sexual Health
Promotion. That’s a seemingly obvious assessment, right? Use it.
2. The Mistake: You blindly grab some lube.
The Potential Damage: Always, always, always check what
your lube is made out of—otherwise, that condom might do jack.
“Oil-based or petroleum-based lubricants like mineral oil or massage
lotion can destroy condoms, making them more likely to break,” says
sexologist and sexuality educator Megan Andelloux.
3. The Mistake: Your hands are sweaty, so one of you tears the condom package with your teeth.
The Potential Damage: Using items like knives or
scissors—even your teeth—to open a wrapper will make it very easy to
mistakenly poke a hole in the condom. (Inone study, dudes who did so
were about three times more likely to encounter breakage.) Think about
it—do you really want sharp objects coming anywhere near the super-thin
barrier that stands between you and fatherhood?
4. The Mistake: You put the condom on—but don’t leave any space in the tip.
The Potential Damage: If you covered up a faucet with
your hand and turned it on full blast, where would the water go? See
what we’re sayin’? It’s not rocket science. So leave approximately half
an inch at the top of the condom to properly “catch” your sperm, says
Herbenick; without this wiggle room, you’re risking breakage.
5. The Mistake: You don’t use a condom because she’s on the Pill.
The Potential Damage: If you’re in a relationship, you
should trust that she’s true to her word, but for a one night stand?
It’s not worth the risk. According to the Center for Disease Control and
Prevention, birth control pills are between 91-99 percent effective in
preventing pregnancy—but the Pill plus a condom gives you close-to-perfect protection. Your call.
6. The Mistake: You were wasted and couldn’t find a condom…so you didn’t use one.
The Potential Damage: Sure, it’s an understandably
awkward situation if you’re about to “get it in” and can’t figure out
where the hell you put the condom. But is it more awkward than becoming a
daddy if you’re not ready for a kid? Get off your ass and search a
little harder, or walk to the store and pick up an extra pack. According
to the World Health Organization, with perfect use, condoms prevent
pregnancy 98 percent of the time. That’s pretty damn good.
7. The Mistake: You’ve had the same condom hanging out in your wallet forever.
The Potential Damage: Using a condom that hasn’t been
properly stored might get you into a situation worse than the sexual
slump you just endured. According to Herbenick, extreme heat or cold can
damage the latex used in condoms, so the best spot for stashing them is
a cool, dark, dry place—like in your nightstand—or a small, hard case
(think: one made for business cards). And if you’re really trying to be a
douche about the whole thing, might we suggest this $200 Swarovski
crystal condom compact.
8. The Mistake: You’re not putting lube inside the condom.
The Potential Damage: Those marathon sex sessions
you’ve been having (nice work, bro) are bound to wear down the condom,
making it dry and prone to ripping. “Always use lube inside the condom.
It prevents breakage and plus, it actually feels so much better for the
condom wearer,” says Andelloux. Remember: check the type of lube before
you apply, and just use a drop—too much can make the condom slip off.
9. The Mistake: You take the condom off before the sex is over.
The Potential Damage: If you’re patting yourself on the
back for using a condom in the first place… don’t. Taking a condom off
too early on into sex “can directly compromise the efficacy of condom
use,” according to a recent study from The Journal of Sexual Health. But
you know that, silly! So if you play by the rules and keep that sucker
on the entire time, it’s 98 percent certain (see no. 6) you won’t have
to worry about becoming a daddy. (Just be sure you hold the base of the
condom during withdrawal to make sure it doesn’t slip off or leak
you-know-what.)
10. The Mistake: You don’t need condoms—you’re a “pull-out pro.”
The Potential Damage: You might think you have
impeccable timing, but even if you do pull out in time, it’s still
possible to get her pregnant. How? According toPlanned Parenthood, your
pre-cum can pick up enough sperm left in your pipes from your last
ejaculation to fertilize an egg. Whoa. Now, urinating between
ejaculations might help, but as they say, it’s always safer to wrap it
before you tap it—and the risk-taking for your non-sexual adventures.
By Erin Stevens, Men’s Fitness
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